Not Just Blowing Off Steam

Our church was in conflict, and I knew this meeting was going to be a hard one to attend. As I walked into the meeting, Brad sauntered across to me. He raised his hand, index finger pointing, pulled back his thumb, cocking the gun, raised it to my temple, and silently mouthed the words, "Bang! Bang!" I had never seen such hatred in a person's eyes. He went back to his seat, and glared at me for the entire meeting. Then, as I got up to leave, he spoke his only words of the evening, "Remember, I know where you live." *

I left the meeting, and went directly to the Sheriff's office. I told them what had occurred, gave them Brad's name and address, and received an assurance they would drive my neighborhood for the next few days. I then went home and called the key leader who opposed me in the church. I said, "I understand that you and some other folks are angry at me, and you're afraid you're losing your church, but you need to know what the consequences of your words might be." I asked this leader to help tamp down the rhetoric, "because it could turn out very badly for Brad and for me. You and I know that you sometimes say things you don't really mean, as a way of letting off steam, but I don't think Brad understands that."

I've been thinking about this incident a lot lately, as I hear about yet another mass shooting by an unhinged man who's been binging on hate. It's easy to blame the shootings in South Carolina and Louisiana on lone gunmen and their mental illness, while ignoring the atmosphere of fear and hate that has lead to their actions.

Blaming mental illness allows us to let ourselves off the hook. We can continue to watch our Faux news and listen to our angry commentators. We can let off steam by reading about conspiracy theories we know probably aren't true, but that make us feel more in control. Meanwhile, our neighbor is taking all that stuff absolutely seriously, and plotting a terrible crime that will leave him and many others devastated. We'll blame him, and his mental illness, but we were the ones who fed the flames that lit him and the world on fire.

My sacred texts say, "perfect love casts out fear." I believe the opposite can also be true. Perfect fear can cast out love.

So I'll say to you what I said to that church leader: I know you're scared and angry, but you need to recognize the consequences of what you and others are speaking into the world. We may know the pundits are just blowing off steam, but Brad doesn't.

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*Note: if you're trying to figure out who this Brad guy is, stop. Unfortunately, I've been a member of several churches that were in conflict, and I've changed the story enough so you won't know who I'm talking about.